Belly of the Beast Life Stories with David All

Down Syndrome, Autism and Peace with Kip Morse

Kip Morse's first daughter, Allison, was diagnosed with Down syndrome at birth and later, autism. Tremendous behavioral issues forced him into being the family's peacekeeper. Now he's finally finding peace as his daughter realizes her purpose.
To me, Kip has been a mentor and the leading example of a father’s impenetrable love for his daughter. The father of three daughters and husband to Leslie for more than 30 years, he was forced into being the servant leader of the family. Many times breaking it up and standing between his daughter and the rest of the family when things got out of control. And now, as his daughter finds her own way and purpose, relief and reconnection.
At the time we recorded this story, Kip was the president and CEO of the Better Business Bureau of Central Ohio which has been a client of mine for the past several years. He's now the CEO of the IABBB.
EPISODE SUMMARY
We open our story at the breaking point for Kip and the entire family, including his oldest daughter, Alison. It’s Alli’s last night before she starts her journey away from the family.
Tears streaming, mom and dad taking turns in the room with Alli, neighbors coming over to say bye, and even Alison is aware that her next move is the right move.
At birth, Alli was diagnosed with Down syndrome, a crucial moment that forced the family to move back to Columbus, Ohio away from Florida
In time, they realized that Alli’s Down syndrome was not typical, her behavior was extremely challenging
Temper tantrums, lying on the floor of the supermarket, throwing things, taking his wife Leslie to the ground, pulling hair... 
Later Alli was diagnosed with autism
There was no local solution -- institutionalizing Alli was not ever an option
The behavior caused a riff between Alli and the family
Finally, they found a solution for Alli a few hours away in Cleveland - her behavior would not be an issue to the caregivers (Monarch Center for Autism)
Alli went to Monarch and Kip and Leslie drove up every single weekend for two years
The separation gave Kip and Leslie a chance to work on their relationship and the relationship with the other two daughters
Kip realized that he had been enabling Alli’s behavior, in a way
“Boy, it’s hard to get it right when you’re going through it.”
Stress caught up with Kip - he nearly had a heart attack
Being independent brought the fun and joy of Alli back
A few years later, Alli came back to Columbus under the care of Ability Matters
Looking back, Kip is glad he didn’t know what was ahead of him in life when his daughter was diagnosed with Down syndrome
It’s purpose that lights Alli up the most these days -- that same truth has translated into the business world, as well
 
QUOTABLES
“I recall it vividly because it was constantly having communications with my daughter and my wife, and consoling one another, and tears streaming down our faces. And it was this realization that, you know, twenty-three years of trying to get Allison to be at a point where she was happy, and she was independent, and where she could live a life with with a strong self-esteem and and purpose. And we hadn't gotten there, and it wasn't within our control anymore. Your sisters all are in an apartment," and you'd see her brighten up because she wants to be just like her sisters. And so there's constantly those ups and downs with the understanding.”
 “And so I rushed back, and that's when the doctor came in and said, "You know, we see signs that she has... she was born with Down syndrome." And you don't know anything about that. You just know you're just looking at your new baby girl with total love and devotion. And so, yeah, we were just kind of stunned. You know, you don't know what to what to think.”
 “And so the diagnosis went from Down syndrome to all of these leading up to pervasive developmental disorder, which was kind of the interim period of time before they finally said that autism is such a vast...

Two Children with Rare Diseases with Rachel Poysky

Rachel Poysky shares her Belly story of raising two children with rare diseases.
Her greatest fears about the health of her son, Joel, were affirmed when she pulled into the driveway and her husband was waiting for her with news. Her husband, Dr. James Poysky, delivered the grave news that their son did in fact have Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD).
DMD is the most common fatal genetic disorder of childhood and it likely meant that their son wouldn’t live past high school. Rachel tells us about that day -- how they went from being a "normal family" to being a "special needs family." 
A few years later, just as the family was regaining a sense of normalcy, their daughter was diagnosed with an even rarer disease, Kawasaki Disease.
Rachel and her husband felt a calling with DMD, their family was uniquely positioned to make an impact, but Kawasaki Disease progressed rapidly and if it had not been diagnosed and treated, could have ended the life of their daughter within 24 hours. This was rock bottom.
What I found particularly insightful about this story was Rachel and James’ commitment to remaining aligned and supportive to one another as husband and wife. They gave each other space to grieve separately, but they were always together. Their relationship feels extraordinary to me.
The Poysky family certainly answered the call. Dr. Poysky has been instrumental in a medical leadership role serving on national boards and authoring papers. And with Rachel’s brother Brad Todd, they created the non-profit Coach To Cure MD, a partnership between the American Football Coaches Association (AFCA), a professional organization for over 10,000 college and high school football coaches and staff, and Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy, the largest national charity devoted exclusively to Duchenne muscular dystrophy. 
EPISODE SUMMARY
The story starts with Rachel first learning from her husband, Dr. James Poysky, that her son had been diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD)
At the time, her husband had been a neurosphychologist and suspected that it could be DMD because he had seen it in children before
DMD is the most common fatal genetic disorder of childhood, but it’s still a rare disease since it affects less than 200,000 people
Duchenne primarily affects boys but women can be carriers; and it can be spontaneous (genetic mutation) as was the case with Rachel’s family
Rachel shares the “language of Duchenne” which is this entirely new vocabulary that comes with the territory of rare diseases
It also means talking to your children about the disease so they have the “tools and knowledge to function”
A week after the diagnosis, Rachel and her husband aligned on their purpose, that they were meant to join the Duchenne fight
Two weeks after the diagnosis they aligned on the priorities that still guide their family to this day
Rachel’s daughter Hallie was diagnosed with an even rarer disease, Kawasaki Disease
A special needs family starts out in “survival mode” but Rachel consciously made the decision to live life with her family
Rachel is an expert in grieving and discusses the idea that people don’t grieve and can’t be expected to grieve in the same way
Rachel discusses the origins of CoachtoCureMD.org, the charity they created to help raise funds and awareness for DMD
QUOTABLES
“And it's almost that moment when I pulled into the driveway, I didn't even have to ask the question why he was there at 3:00 in the afternoon. And I walked up to the door and he met me at the door. And I just said, "Is it that?" And he said "Yes." And I said, "The really bad kind?" And he said, "Yes." And that was a moment when we went from being a normal family to a special needs family, just all of a sudden.”
 “They're missing dystrophin which, this is simplistic, and a doctor would probably be horrified that I explained it this way, but basically dystrophin is the glue that hold your muscles together. And when you...

Three Children with Special Needs with Laura Hernandez

Now a mama to 10 kiddos, Laura Hernandez faced and met the overwhelming challenges when her family added three adopted children that would all eventually be diagnosed with intellectual delay (mental retardation) and fetal alcohol syndrome.
After consulting friends and books and still not having the answers she needed, Laura created her own systems to manage the chaos and bring peace to her household.
Laura realized a need for other mother’s facing similar challenges and started MamaSystems.net, a suite of coaching services, systems and tools to help families bring peace to their home.
EPISODE SUMMARY
Our story begins with Laura first learning that all three of the children that her family had adopted would ultimately be diagnosed with intellectual delay (formerly known as mental retardation) and fetal alcohol syndrome
Laura and her husband adopted Andrew (4), Matthew (2 ½) and Hannah (18 mos.) after a long trial of first fostering Andrew, developing a relationship with the biological mother and her partner, and ultimately adopting all three siblings into their large family (5 biological children at the time)
The overwhelm of adding three new “buddies” into the family was stressful, increasing the chaos and noise but also deeply relieving knowing that the kids were all safe and being taking care of
“Ok Laura, you can do this,” was how most daily pep talks started
For a long time there was distance, a feeling like the three adopted kiddos were strangers
Special care and attention had to be given to the biological kids so their needs were met
Tony, Laura’s husband, was able to work from home
Faith has played a huge role in Laura’s decision to adopt (many signs from God) and carries her through difficult times
The kiddos do feel attached now
Part II opens back up with the diagnosis as both a moment of realizing the children would be dependent on them for the rest of their lives but also relief in finding out what was wrong
This pattern of importance of the ‘diagnosis’ continues to emerge in our stories of a parent with children with special needs
After reading book after book and still not having answers, Laura created systems to manage the chaos and bring peace to her household
She founded Mama Systems, a coaching practice for mama’s and families in similarly overwhelming situations
Laura has never regretted it -- it’s an obedience and commitment thing for her
 
QUOTABLES
“I would just lay in bed at night wondering if they were safe, if they're being taken care of, if they had eaten that day. And now I knew that they were safe, and that they had been fed and had full bellies, and they were loved on, and nothing was going to happen in that room, like it was in my power. Nothing was gonna happen to them. They were gonna be safe in there.”
 “And I think even today, when we have really hard days, that's what gets me through, because they can be really, really hard kids. And it can feel hard to love them, and it can feel hard to just keep going and being their Mama. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is what we were called to do.”
 “And no book I read could fit all of our things in a nutshell, which was really frustrating at the time, because I'd read a book, and I'd be like I really like this, but you're acting like we're at home all day and don't have people coming in and out every five minutes. So it was just very tricky to find something that fit for our family. So I finally just kind of stopped reading everything, stopped listening to everything. And I said, ‘You know what? I just need to prioritize what's important to us and schedule our lives so that it works for us.’”
 “‘OK, we can do this, we can thrive as a family. We've got this.’ And feeling confident in that and feeling confident as a Mama to all these people. And then shifting into not only that, but I think that I could help other people. I feel like that's that's the moment where you're like, ‘OK, I've...

Being A Mother with Sharon Eisenhauer

Sharon Eisenhauer had to heal the wound of her relationship with her own mother before she could break out of the mold of motherhood to find joy in her relationship with her adopted daughter.
Sharon and her wife adopted their daughter and divorced a few years later. The relationship between Sharon and her daughter was joyous but also challenging and confrontational and she couldn't understand why.
Sharon went to figure it out beginning a process of self-discovery and healing of her own childhood wounds with her own mother. Through distance and discipline, self-love and self-preservation, Sharon can now cherish her daughter because she cherishes herself first.
EPISODE SUMMARY
Our story begins in 2004 when Sharon and her former wife adopt a baby girl from Japan
The first nine months were both joyful and hellish and when Sharon’s former wife would travel for work, she felt both abandoned and being left to care for another child
Sharon never wanted to be a mother - at least not with the tools she was carrying
But at the age of 42, both Sharon and her wife felt like they could raise a child together and that it was the next right thing to do
A few years later, Sharon and her former wife get a divorce which yields a 50/50 child responsibility role 
Sharon talks about things she “should do” as a mother like writing little notes in her daughter’s lunchbox and attending PTA meetings -- all things that felt unnatural
A book by Dr. Christiane Northrup called Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom (https://amzn.to/2VoX2HZ (https://amzn.to/2VoX2HZ)) ultimately gave Sharon relief to drop so much of the guilt and shame she was carrying because she was not the mother society pressures her to be
It takes a village to raise a child
Sharon was in a new relationship with a man she called her “good Dad”
Her daughter entering her teen years proved particularly challenging as Sharon further realized she wasn’t “the parent” or “the loving guide”
Sharon decides that she needs to move and put distance between her and her daughter to reconnect with herself
This space reinforced Sharon’s resolve to stand on her own, in her truth, to heal her past and what happened between her own mother and her
In time, the healing process transforms Sharon and her relationship with her daughter improves
Sharon can cherish her daughter because she cherishes herself
 
QUOTABLES
“Well, the first formative nine months were pure . Our daughter, she was a joy, and she didn't sleep through the night.”
 “I didn't recognize it at the time, but in the dynamic between my partner and myself, I was essentially the child. And so when she would leave, on an unconscious level, it felt as though, number one, I was being abandoned. And number two, I was being abandoned in the care of yet another child. So it was a child being left to take care of a child, even though I was 40-some years old.”
 “Challenging. Confrontational. Heart-breaking. Joyful. Delightful.”
 “It was almost as though the the poison had infected her. The poison of this feeling of not being lovable, of not being worthy of receiving love.”
 “Well, when I was trying to be that mother, that society tells us we should be, that writes the lovely little notes in the lunchbox, and that makes late night snacks for her slumber parties, and hosts play dates, and does PTA and hosts the Girl Scout meetings, and all of those things, I thought I should be those things. I didn't know that there was any other concept of how to be a mother.And when I heard that, it gave me such a feeling of permission and it allowed me to drop away so much of the guilt and the shame I had been carrying about not being able to be the kind of mother that society told me I was supposed to be. . And coming back to the idea of it taking a village, it truly does, because to put all of that responsibility on one or two people is way beyond what we should have to carry.”
 “She was coming into her teen...

Two Children Murdered with Charlotte Austin-Jordan

The day after Mother’s Day in 1988, Charlotte's only daughter, Ja’Mee, was murdered at the age of 13 in a case of mistaken identity by five gang members. Then again in 1996, Charlotte’s 25 year-old son Corey was also killed by gang members who thought his blue work uniform represented a rival gang’s colors.
Indeed Charlotte was dealt poison but made medicine going on a mission to first ensure that Ja’Mee’s killers met justice, then working through all levels of government to change criminal justice laws, notably being the catalyst and driver for the Victim’s Impact Statement which humanizes a victim at sentencing and California’s Three-Strikes Law.
Charlotte has been a beacon of hope and love for her community, providing direct support and care to mothers who had lost children due to homicide; and hundreds of children consider her their mother, too.
Charlotte addressed the root of the problem by creating a jobs programs for young at-risk youth to get off the streets and find meaningful work in the community. 
EPISODE SUMMARY
Our story begins in Los Angeles in 1988
Charlotte was a single mom to five children; four boys and one daughter
Charlotte worked hard to make sure the family had dinner together every Sunday and maintaining a strong foundation for them as a single mom
It was the day after Mother's Day in 1988 when Ja'Mee was killed
Charlotte was preparing food for her youngest children when she heard multiple gunshots
Physically she felt something drop from her - she believes it was Ja’Mee’s life leaving her body
Ja'Mee and her friend Nikki had been killed by 5 gang members who had thought the two girls were the sister of a rival drug dealer that had duped them earlier
Ja’Mee was hit 15 times with bullets including one through her head
At the time, “drive by shootings” wasn’t a legal offense so the five murderers were being charged under a lesser misdemeanor crime that had a likely sentence of 18-months
The death of Ja’Mee triggered a series of changes including having to find new homes for her foster children, fearing black men in her community, and losing her job; Charlotte’s life became a mission to represent her daughter and get justice
In 1996, her son Corey was killed by gang members that thought he was wearing rival gang colors; Corey was wearing his work uniform
In court, Charlotte’s daughter was referred to not by her name, but as her ‘toe tag’ which is assigned in the morgue; there was also no ‘victims impact statement’ where Charlotte could tell the jury who her daughter was, what her dreams were
Charlotte is the catalyst and driver of several major criminal justice laws that are common today, including: Victims Impact Statement and Three Strikes Law
Through loss she gained so much from the community - but she still misses her babies
 
QUOTABLES
“So I built a strong foundation for [my children], even though I was single."
“I got up and I went to the stove and I started preparing, warming up the meal that I had already prepared for the babies. And I heard all of this gunfire. And while I was standing at the stove, it was like a really strange feeling, like I had dropped something. And I always say it was her soul. It was like something fell for me. And I started looking for it to see what that was. at the funeral home, they said Ja'Mee had defensive wounds, and I didn't know what that was. They needed gloves. And the defensive wounds just because she saw them, and she put her hands up for protection. But that day was a horrible, horrible day for me. My only daughter. I had dreams, I was preparing for her to be a young woman, 18, the debutante balls, the classes, wanting her to be groomed, all of those things, and the life that I did not experience, I wanted to help her to be able to experience those things. And they cheated me. They cheated me. You know, it's 30 years, and it gets better, but it doesn't go away. I still miss my daughter.”
“Laws, we did not have any laws on

Season 2: For Love of My Child

Each Belly of the Beast Life Story illustrates the nature of transformation through the story of a real person.
Season 2 is curated by the theme - For Love of My Child. All stories are by parents who have faced and overcome the unimaginable for the unconditional love of their child.
We are still gathering stories to include in Season 2 which will start releasing in the near future. If you have a story to share, reach out to us via inourbelly.com.
~ Beyond the Belly ~
We have launched our next show - Beyond the Belly. In this show, I'll take you beyond any one individual Belly story to examine the overall patterns of transformation. I'll be joined by expert friends of mine who I personally know and trust to give us their wisdom. My goal is to help you live an even fuller life by being ever mindful of life's transitions.
Subscribe to Beyond the Belly wherever you get your podcasts. And please rate and review the show so that other heroes can find it, too.
http://inourbelly.com

Beyond: Finding Your Bliss with Artie Wu

Artie Wu dives into his personal transformation to become a a master healer to more than 120,000 folks around the world. In one of the clearest examples I've heard, Artie describes what 'healing' is, why it helps folks live a fuller life, and his vision for a healed world.
Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to illustrate the nature of personal transformation. Beyond helps us go beyond personal stories to comprehend the overall pattern of transformation.
EPISODE SUMMARY
– Artie shares his “own phases as a caterpillar” and his transformation journey to find his bliss as a healer
– David asks an important question: "what is healing?"
– We stuff parts of who we are down into the Belly – and healing is the act of going down to recover that lost part of you  
– Artie connects how most will refuse the “call” to recover this part of who they are and then life magically “puts them through the tumble cycle” to reconcile with that part of them in the belly
– Pain from a traumatic experience, like getting hit hard on the football field and crying has a secondary and deeper wound when the boy is in the car getting screamed at by his dad for crying and that “boys don’t cry”
– What is “following your bliss” and why it’s so crucial for you right now
QUOTABLES
“You know, I’ve went through my own phases of being a caterpillar. Jumping through the hoops of going to the right schools and doing sort of industry work and professional stuff that would be acceptable to the expectations that I had coding in my own mind and heart.”
“So the quick view of how I think about healing is that within every single one of us as we go through life. There will be parts of us that are valid, genuine card carrying parts of who we actually are as people just as we’re born. That we will feel are unacceptable to the world around us. And that’s an issue. An extreme if I’m in a society where being, say, divorced or homosexual or whatever will cost me my life because I could be executed under the law of that country, then if this is part of me that is like my sexual orientation or my religious affiliation could cause me to die or be killed, then that’s a part of me if I want to survive that, I have to stuff down.”
“And where you’ve stuffed that part of you is down in the belly, down in the deepest level of Guantanamo prison. And it can be argued that – healing is basically the act of going down into the lowest levels of the prison to recover that lost part of yourself.”
“And so there’s a sort of mysterious connection between healing as this whole natural process, this spontaneous process, if you will, of going into the belly of the beast that we all experience. I don’t believe there’s any master sort of torturer triggering all these things — it happens from our biology; Like a bird builds a nest and it’s beautiful.”
“That is where that road leads you is to finding and following your bliss. The thing you love to do natively even before you were born for no good reason. But when you follow it, you know it makes you happy. It unlocks all this power in you. It also, in hindsight, ends up being like you realized the meaning of purpose in your life. The reason why you’re on the planet in the first place. And as a happy byproduct, it rains down blessing on the life of the world around you.”
GUEST RESOURCES
Artie Wu’s healing center: http://bit.ly/presidelife (http://bit.ly/presidelife)
Facebook community: http://bit.ly/PresideFB (http://bit.ly/PresideFB)
On Instagram: http://bit.ly/artieIG (http://bit.ly/artieIG)
 
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Beyond: Transformation Pattern with Artie Wu

This story reveals the overall pattern of transformation — the secret recipe of each personal Belly of the Beast Life Story. Once you hear the pattern - you’ll see it coming up in our podcast and with those around you.
Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to illustrate the nature of personal transformation. Beyond helps us go beyond personal stories to comprehend the overall pattern of transformation. 
 
EPISODE SUMMARY
– The first stage of transformation is ‘forced change’ which is the event which triggers the process of transformation
– We use Dr. Julian Gold’s diagnosis of cancer (Season 1, Episode 2) where he was diagnosed and days later was in the hospital for treatment
– A health event is one category of forced change that “truly cannot be stuffed down anymore”
– In the actual forced event itself — and in your own forced change in your life — understand the overall meaning in the event itself
– Allegory versus symbol; rise above why it’s happening and understand that it is happening and how will you respond to it
– From forced change, the caterpillar goes into the cocoon stage, and we use an excerpt from Chip Conley’s story (Season 1, Episode 13) to illustrate the “dark, gooey stage” of life
– Jobi Manson’s story(Season 1, Episode 11) illustrates the role of surrender as the final stage before climbing up into being a butterfly
– Holocaust survivor Martha Sternbach’s story (Season 1, Episode 1) of erupting as a butterfly 50 years after the Holocaust ended is our example of emergence - Climbing Up 
QUOTABLES
“The question that’s more interesting and relevant to me and ultimately helpful in my experience is what is the overall meaning of this event [forced change that leads to transformation]?”
 “The true transformative surrender is always forced. It always feels forced. If you willingly do it and try to maintain control, it’s not quite the real thing.”
 “So when that transformation happens… Your narrative about your self changes. And then you, in your essence, also change.”
GUEST RESOURCES
Artie Wu’s healing center: http://bit.ly/presidelife (http://bit.ly/presidelife)
Facebook community: http://bit.ly/PresideFB (http://bit.ly/PresideFB)
On Instagram: http://bit.ly/artieIG (http://bit.ly/artieIG)
ENABLE OUR MISSION
Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported.
A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon.
To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support).
Thank you for listening.
Warmly,
David All
Creator, Storyteller, Producer
 
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To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit:
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Beyond: Origin story of Belly of the Beast Life Stories with Artie Wu

This story is a discussion about the origin story of Belly of the Beast Life Stories with our advisor, Artie Wu. 
Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to illustrate the nature of personal transformation. Beyond helps us go beyond personal stories to comprehend the overall pattern of transformation.
EPISODE SUMMARY
Artie Wu describes the origin of Belly of the Beast Life Stories from his perspective as a longtime friend and advisor to David All
The meaning behind the term, “Belly of the Beast”
Discussing the overall pattern of transformation using the metaphor of a caterpillar, down into her cocoon, and climbing up a butterfly
Biblical story of Jonah and the Whale
Modern examples of the Belly story pattern include Star Wars and The Matrix (films)
The difference between grief and depression and why accepting the meaning of your pain matters
 
QUOTABLES
“Belly of the Beast really is an allusion to some call it ‘hero’s journey.’ Some call it sort of transformations people go through over the course of their life cycles. And there are many ways to describe that.”
 “There’s a natural shape of the transformation process in a person’s life in a phase they go through in nature. And, you know, one metaphor that comes up a lot is that of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.”
“In the Bible story, [Belly of the Beast is] an allusion to Jonah and the whale.”
“In classic Star Wars, the belly of the beast is the trash compactor in the belly of the Death Star. In The Matrix, for instance, the belly of the beast is when Neo actually physically dies and then comes back completely transformed, knowing he has his powers.”
“Like for instance, when we talk about the difference between grief and depression. Grief is when you’ve had a loss and you actively, willingly sit with it and just sit with the pain of a loss and you don’t run away from the pain. You actively go down into the belly of the beast. You go down into grief, you go down into your cocoon phase. Depression is where you say, no, no, run away. Get away. Get away. Numb it with alcohol, numb it with drugs, with or whatever. And you keep running from this pain you know is coming. And eventually a hand comes up, grabs you and drags you down anyway. That’s the difference.”
GUEST RESOURCES
Artie Wu’s healing website: http://bit.ly/presidelife (http://bit.ly/presidelife)
Facebook community: http://bit.ly/PresideFB (http://bit.ly/PresideFB)
On Instagram: http://bit.ly/artieIG (http://bit.ly/artieIG)
ENABLE OUR MISSION
Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported.
A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon.
To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support).
Thank you for listening.
Warmly,
David All
Creator, Storyteller, Producer
CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST
To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit:
https://www.bellystory.com (BellyStory.com)

Confronting Suicide with Chip Conley

New York Times Best Selling author Chip Conley describes the period of his life between the ages of 45 and 49 as his ‘dark, gooey stage’ of life. A pattern of events led Chip to believe the entire world was conspiring against him, and that suicide was the only option -- a chance to just press the reset button.
Several of Chip’s male friends had committed suicide (it's more common for men to be successful at taking their own life), and taking a fatal jump off his beloved Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco seemed like a romantic way to go. He grabbed his journal, keys and headed to his car. 
Miraculously while sitting in his car jamming his keys so hard into a numb hand, Aretha Franklin’s soulful version of ‘Amazing Grace,’ the classic gospel song, came on the radio. In that moment, Chip reached for his phone and called a friend for help.
Chip’s a Modern Elder and his message of hearing grace in a dark time is one of hope. Chip now works with men and women at his Modern Elder Academy in Baja, Mexico to help them see that they have choices -- and to make a ‘mid-life’ edit to let go of and evolve out of old patterns.
Episode Summary
You also have another option: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
- Chip felt the whole world was conspiring against him 
- He was sitting in his car, ready to drive to the Golden Gate Bridge and press the ‘reset button’ on his life
- In that moment, the song Amazing Grace comes on and it softens him, a tearful moment
- Conley provides the back story on what was going on in his life during this period in time, his ‘dark, gooey stage of life’
- Several male friends had all committed suicide
- Conley felt a huge heavy blanket on top of him - he felt cursed in life
- He felt suffocated by his business, his relationship wasn’t working out
- Conley talks about wearing the ‘mask of the achiever’ 
- Conley gives advice on how to spot suicide among friends and family and how to provide unconditional love to support
- Chip talks about his work at the Modern Elder Academy helping folks 35 to 75 make the ‘midlife edit’ and find happiness
 
 Quotables
 “I just immediately had the full tearful reaction to the idea that I could have another choice. I didn't have to imagine committing suicide as a way of pressing the reset button on my life.”
“So what was happening inside of me is I felt just this heavy blanket on top of me. I felt very dark inside. I felt.... I think the word I felt when anything was cursed. I felt cursed. And to feel cursed is an awful feeling. I was running the second largest boutique hotel company in the US called JdV and I wasn't feeling much Joie de Vivre, which means joy of life in French. And I was really in a state of disbelief that I was supposed to somehow in a time where I felt completely ill equipped to even show up at work, to somehow be figuring out how to save a company of 3,500 employees while I was just like, frankly, on a an internal basis, just trying to figure out how to save myself.“
 “Men are much more likely to successfully-- I hate to use that word-- commit suicide than women. Women actually try it not as much as men. I think about half as much as men, but are less likely to have it work, partly because men use guns more and women tend to use pills more and a gun is more lethal in a lot of cases.”
 “Looking in the mirror at myself, I didn't see somebody I knew. I saw somebody who looked scared and defeated definitely. And more than anything, I think I saw someone who just wanted to press the reset button on my life, and yet I had been trying to.“
 “But my indicator of my emotional intelligence today is how am I cultivating and harvesting joy in my life, not just for myself, but for others as well.”
 
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