Belly of the Beast Life Stories with David All

Beyond: Welcome the Liminal and Rumi

In this Beyond story, we revisit one of our earlier conversations with master healer Artie Wu to help us bring to life the liminal stage in our personal transformation pattern.
I know this stage well, and I was able to recognize when I was in it, and how I created a vision board to let my soul guide my next big move in life.
I'm sharing instructions on how to make yours and that exact vision board on the https://bellystory.com/s3e7 (website).
Recognizing the threshold isn't a new idea. I've selected a poem that may connect to your soul from ancient Persian mystic, Rumi. We read poems dedicated to our listeners instead of advertising shills.
Our stories are personal, designed for you to hear pieces of your own true nature reveal itself in every story.
Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to let you know that you're not alone in yours and to inspire you to embrace every ounce of it. And Beyond stories helps us see the big picture, comprehending the patterns coming up.
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Your podcast is a safe and judgement free space. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener powered.
We dedicate a poem to folks in our community shouldering up with us.
Consider a $5 donation at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support).
Thank you for listening. I hope you're able to hear something meaningful.
Warmly,
David All
Creator, Storyteller, Producer
CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST
To submit your extraordinary personal life story or to sign-up for new episode emails visit: https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

Beyond: The Gift of Listening and Thich Nhat Hanh

In this very personal Beyond story, I wanted to share why it's so important to me that this podcast is not for sale. Why it matters that you, dear listeners and neighbors of the world, have a safe, judgement free space to listen, and notice what comes up.
To do that, I take you back through my own pattern of storytelling; how I learned to tell stories by listening deeply to others tell theirs.
Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh shares that listening to others, with compassion and without offering advice or actions, is itself a healing instrument that the world needs now.
Our stories are personal, designed for you to hear pieces of your own true nature reveal itself in every story.
Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to let you know that you're not alone in yours and to inspire you to embrace every ounce of it. And Beyond stories helps us see the big picture, comprehending the patterns coming up.
ENABLE OUR MISSION - 100% Advertising Free
Your podcast is a safe and judgement free space. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported. It's not on the market, it's not for sale.
A podcast where you can listen and hear what's coming up.
We dedicate a poem to folks in our community shouldering up with us. Crossing the line, letting us know that we're heard with a $5 donation at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support).
Thank you for listening. I hope you're able to hear something meaningful.
Warmly,
David All
Creator, Storyteller, Producer
CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST
To submit your extraordinary personal life story, to sign-up for new episode email updates, to contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit: https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

Beyond: Remember Auld Lang Syne and Robert Burns

In this special New Year's Beyond story, David All looks deeper into the meaning of that sweet, familiar song, Auld Lang Syne, a poem attributed to Scotland's national poet, Robert Burns. Before you turn the page and burn the book on 2020, turn around and remember the 'Good old days' and all those days in between.
Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to illustrate the nature of personal transformation. Beyond helps us go beyond personal stories to comprehend the overall pattern of transformation.
ENABLE OUR MISSION
Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported.
A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon.
To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support).
Thank you for listening.
Warmly,
David All
Creator, Storyteller, Producer
CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST
To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit: https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

Becoming a Better Man with Corey Cepeda

Corey Cepeda's transformation to become a better man didn't happen overnight, but that journey did begin one night in a jail cell long ago.
That night, on his knees on the coldest concrete floor in an intimate jail cell, he committed to ending his rough lifestyle, a typical example in the pattern of fatherlessness led him there.
In the darkness of that oubliette, his soul noticed the light - his decision to forge checks meant that he would miss his first daughter's baptism. A kenshō moment where he glimpsed his true nature and like a seed that can't be unplanted, would change him forever.
He grabbed the Bible, dropped to his knees, and started his process of transformation by surrendering. And asking for forgiveness from a higher power.
Corey's determination and commitment to changing his life is an inspiring story of personal realization, clear awareness, and what it really takes to climb up a better man.
 
OUR STORY
Hey there, welcome to Season 3 of https://www.BellyStory.com/s3e3 (Belly of the Beast Life Stories with David All). 
This third season of life is a rare collection of stories of men that grew up without a biological father around. It's helping me comprehend my own life story of fatherlessness, and showing folks that it's a pattern worth breaking to be a better man. At some point during this season, I'll share my own belly story, but until then, good men like Corey are standing for all of us to share their story, to inspire us and give us courage to reveal our own true nature.
That's the purpose of this podcast as I comprehend it today: Wisdom for our Soul -- Courage for your Journey. This is your podcast for extraordinary personal life stories.
Each story illustrates the nature of personal transformation. A change that forced us down into the dark, gooey stage of life where we found our purpose and climbed up a new person.
ENABLE OUR MISSION
Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported.
A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon.
To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support).
Thank you for listening.
Warmly,
David All
Creator, Storyteller, Producer
 
CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST
To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit:
https://www.bellystory.com (BellyStory.com)

Gifted this Moment to Begin with Christian Long

At first glance, you might wonder why Christian Long, a man with multiple fathers, would be featured in a series on fatherlessness. Good question. It’s true that Christian has a biological father, but he was out of the picture before Christian was three years old and only emerged again when Christian was 25. Christian also had three stepfathers (and three different last names.) Thanks to his wife, he has a father-in-law… So there is no shortage of fathers in his life.
What’s missing, though, was a dad – a safe, constant male figure in his life.
The story of Christian’s father-void is still not over. At age 50, he’s still processing how his experience of fatherlessness has affected his temperament, his fears, and his relationships – especially his relationship with his own children.
As he reflects, a deep, raw honesty emerges. It’s real. It’s is a place of acceptance. And it’s hopeful.
By the way, here's a link to Christian's poem, "https://thinklab.typepad.com/becketttobe/2009/02/contextberkeley-to-be-countdown-less-than-a-month-to-goimaginingit-starts-like-spring-lambs-wool-caresses-papaim-im.html (Imagining)," that we discuss in the story.
OUR STORY
Hey there, welcome to Season 3 of Belly of the Beast Life Stories. I’m David All.
It’s another season of life here at the podcast. This third season is a very rare collection of stories by men who share the golden thread of growing up with an absent biological father and broke the pattern to be a good man. I’ll be sharing my own Belly story later this season. And let me tell you that a year ago, when we launched this show, I didn’t realize this was my Belly story.
Wisdom for our Soul -- Courage for your Journey. Extraordinary life stories illustrate the nature of personal transformation. A change that forced us down into the dark, gooey stage of life where we found our purpose and climbed up a new person.
Our podcast has a purpose — a mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary life stories. Stand with us — Visit BellyStory.com to share your story, listen and subscribe, sign-up for episode updates and chip-in, and enable our mission.
 
EPISODE SUMMARY
Part I
- Christian reflects on having multiple fathers -- stepfathers and a biological father –- yet he had a dad-void.
- Christian’s childhood memories of his biological father are so few, whatever in-person memories exist happened at or before the age of two.
- Christian’s first stepfather insisted on adopting him. Years later, Christian realized the adoption was not based on love for him as a child; it was nothing more than a negotiation, a poker move of sorts.
- Once a year, Christian visited his paternal grandparents, and once while he was there, he spoke with his father on the phone, though at the time, he didn’t know who he was.
- Anger, often suppressed or masquerading as sarcasm, has been a constant companion of Christian’s.
- The threat of violence from his stepfather left Christian on edge, scared, and looking for outlets away from home.
- Christian describes a difficult time in his marriage when he moved out for a couple of months and how the responsibility he felt as a father helped pull him back home.
Part II
- Christian shares why he believes his children are what held his marriage together through a rocky time.
- Christian reflects on the lines of a poem he wrote for his daughter, Berkeley.
- Christian articulates why feeling love is so difficult.
- Christian describes the work of healing from being fatherless.
- Christian describes his online community of men who choose to be honest and vulnerable with one another.
Part III
- In some ways, Christina feels like he’s just beginning -- just beginning to discover himself, to feel. It’s never too late to start.
QUOTABLES
“The first thing that Christian said to me about his story was that it might not be a good fit for this season, because he still feels the deep wound of fatherlessness.”
“The idea...

The Quest for Purpose with L.T. Bourne

As with so many children in the world today, Leonardo Lightbourne (L.T. Bourne) grew up with an absent father. Watching from the window as his father drove away left L.T. feeling confused and heartbroken. As he grew, he became a people-pleaser, trying to win the favor of others so that they wouldn’t abandon him. This led to a lack of boundaries and some bad decisions.
 
Thankfully, L.T.’s best friend’s father served as a mentor and a positive influence in his life. Without his encouragement and guidance, L.T. is doubtful that he would be where he is today.
 
Upon completing university, he struggled to find employment...for months. He felt like a failure. During this low point of his life, L.T. began journaling, realized that he was suffering from parental abandonment issues, and he determined to work through them.
 
From there, his book, https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Mans-World-conquered/dp/1733116117/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=it%27s+not+a+man%27s+world&qid=1603991902&sr=8-2 ( It’s Not a Man’s World: How I conquered the Sins of My Father), was born.
 
L.T.’s journey is full of lessons about boundaries, surrender, forgiveness, and empowerment. His story is a message of hope, of embracing your life right where you are, and of taking responsibility for your own narrative, no matter how rocky your start may have been.
 
→ OUR STORY
 
Hey there, welcome to Season 3 of https://bellystory.com (Belly of the Beast Life Stories). I’m David All.
 
It’s another season of life here at the podcast. This third season is a very rare collection of stories by men who share the golden thread of growing up with an absent biological father and broke the pattern to be a good man. I’ll be sharing my own Belly story later this season. And let me tell you that a year ago, when we launched this show, I didn’t realize this was my Belly story.
 
Wisdom for our Soul -- Courage for your Journey. Extraordinary life stories illustrate the nature of personal transformation. A change that forced us down into the dark, gooey stage of life where we found our purpose and climbed up a new person.
 
Our podcast has a purpose — a mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary life stories. Stand with us — Visit https://bellystory.com (BellyStory.com) to share your story, listen and subscribe, sign-up for episode updates and chip-in, and enable our mission.
 
→ EPISODE SUMMARY
 
Part I
- L.T. remembers the day his father left. He was just a child. There was an argument with his grandmother; his mother was crying; and then his father drove away as L.T. watched from the window.
- He knew his father was only 10 minutes away, yet he never came to visit.
- L.T. felt like he must have done something wrong. This led to him developing a people-pleasing personality.
- Watching family sitcoms on TV showed L.T. that he was missing something in his life, that something was lacking in his family structure.
- Father’s Day was especially difficult. Having to go to church and witness the celebration of happy father-child relationships was like pouring salt in a wound.
- His own birthday was difficult to celebrate too. He felt like his birth must have been a mistake. Why should he celebrate his parents’ mistake?
- Thankfully, L.T.’s best friend had an intact family, and his friend’s father became a mentor and father-figure to L.T.. He nurtured and encouraged L.T.. He even let him sit in on some lectures he gave his own son.
- After university, it would be months before L.T. would land a job. He felt like a failure.
 
Part II
- During that time of unemployment, L.T. started journaling. Through his writings, he recognized he had parental rejection issues he needed to work through. The book idea was born.
- Writing his story helped L.T. drop the people-pleasing. Telling his story “gave me back my power as a man.”
- Wisdom comes through pain. And telling our...

Fatherlessness, Stories of Men

Welcome to our third season of Belly of the Beast Life Stories. Growing up with an absent biological father has a particular impact on men. In Fatherlessness, I’ll tell you stories of men that share this experience. 
A golden thread marking a childhood of grief, anger, and missteps; a difficult pattern to break out of. But for these men, a transformation from the adult boy to the man.
Their climb up from being born in the hole — that’s the overall pattern of each of these stories.
ENABLE OUR MISSION
Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported.
A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon.
To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support).
Thank you for listening.
Warmly,
David All
Creator, Storyteller, Producer
CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST
To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit:
https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

Blind Mother Raises Blind Children with Ashley Wayne

Ashley Wayne shares her story of facing down her fear of being blind and becoming a mother. And now, she has two blind children and a newborn.
 
EPISODE SUMMARY 
Part I
The gift of sight was always seen as a luxury to Ashley up until this moment
She’s days from going to get her daughter in Bulgaria, the international adoption nearly realized
In these early moment, a blind woman confronts being a blind mama to her blind daughter
Ashley was blind at birth, two detached retinas, not even a perception of light
The darkness hadn’t slowed her down, but the simple everyday tasks of changing diapers or taking her to a friend’s house to play seemed insurmountable
“It was scary; when you’re suddenly put in charge of another human being it’s very sobering"
Parenting brought her to her knees, Ashley had to realize it was OK to ask for help
 
Part II
Ashley had spent a lifetime being independent, and thriving, as a blind person
But the realities of being a mother changed her perception
She shifted her mindset
Day by day, Ashley was successful at doing the little things and life started to return to normal
Normal enough to begin (and finish) the process of adopting their blind son, who had Cerebral Palsy
Faith is everything to Ashley, and she elaborates on this fundamental aspect of her life
A Grand Canyon experience through a blind families eyes
Blind people don’t have superpowers like exceptional hearing
Ashley has to be extremely present to experience special moments with her family
4-weeks ago, Ashley birthed her first biological son, that appears to be fully sighted
Ashley still yearns to see, especially the little things like seeing what her infant is looking at and being fascinated by
 
Part III
Ashley shares advice to her younger self just as she’s about to take on motherhood
She writes a lot about the distancing she and her family experience being blind (see articles in the guest resources section) and urges folks just to treat them normal
 
QUOTABLES
"It was a very emotional time. I remember as it got closer, feeling this immense weight and wondering, am I really going to be able to take care of her? I had done a lot of things as a blind person that I think many people would imagine would be pretty difficult.  But parenting felt like it was going to be this much more insane and immense task. And I really didn't know if I could do it, but we had obviously committed and were going to adopt her."
 "And I didn't need sight, and I could get along just fine without it, and almost to the detrimental extreme of that end, you know, believing that sight wasn't necessary, and I was an amazing blind person who could do anything [Laughter]. I didn't need anyone's help, especially help from those the sighted people.  I think parenting really did bring me to my knees, figuratively and literally sometimes, just the realization that sight is a gift, and it would be not just nice to have, but would be preferred in a lot of cases when it comes to parenting, and that it was OK to admit that."
 "You know, every little task, like I kind of dreaded every diaper change, like, am I going to get her clean enough?"
 "You realize that things weren't quite as intense or frightening as I had originally thought. It doesn't mean that I still didn't need help or things weren't frustrating at points. But it began to feel less and less alien and yeah, just a bit more normal."
 Regarding faith… “It’s everything. It's what I hope to... We hope and strive for, to teach our children that there is a God. And it's, we can know him through Christ."
 "I've always had to rely more on my hearing. And just to dispel a myth, because I always have to take any opportunity to mention this, you know, blind people don't have super hearing."
 Advice to a younger Ashley… "You will figure it out. Yeah, you'll make some mistakes, but nothing so horrible that neither...

The Responsibility of Fatherhood with Mathew Passy

Mathew Passy’s 4-month old daughter was diagnosed with bacterial meningitis, a rare but treatable disease, bringing immediacy to the role and responsibility of fatherhood. 
EPISODE SUMMARY
Part I
•The story opens with Mathew and his wife taking their 4-month old daughter, Hailey, into the hospital with a fever that was later diagnosed as bacterial meningitis
•Meningitis is a rare disease caused by viral or bacterial infection that moves into the cerebral spinal fluid and swells the thin membranes that cover the brain and the spinal cord
•This meant that Hailey would be in the hospital for two weeks for treatment
•Mathew had just started a new business
•Mathew and his wife took turns being at the hospital
•On his first night, his daughter has a seizure in his arms for an hour
•This event “knocked” Mathew "for a loop"
•He describes this moment as bringing the preciousness of life into immediacy; a scary experience where his mind was racing
•A self-described “control person,” not having control of the situation was hard
•Although not a “religious person,” Mathew wondered if he was being “punished" 
•Mathew had a lot of fear about the health of his daughter, but also whether or not his business would survive 
•This experience matured Mathew; from being an “older kid with kids” to a father responsible for a family
 
Part II
•We learn more about how the experience changed Mathew
•Hailey was released from the hospital but every time she cried or had a slight fever, Mathew and his wife were on the phones with the doctors
•Mathew’s clients didn’t abandon him, in fact, they validated his “family first” decision and are still with him to this day
•Being an entrepreneur has given Mathew more time to spend with his family and he has barriers, like stopping work at the end of the day to make dinner and spend the evening with the kids
•Setting the health scare aside, Mathew wouldn’t take this experience back because he’s a better dad now
 
Part III
•Mathew shares his advice to his younger self
•Mathew now has a sense of calm in any situation knowing that he has what it takes to get through it because he’s doing it for them
 
QUOTABLES
"And then to be in the situation in the hospital where something has to be done and you either can't get answers, or have no control over it, is so hard."
 "And because I had just started my own business, I didn't really have a ton of money coming in, every dollar counted. And we had just bought the house earlier that year, so it felt like it could all just crumble very, very quickly, and the life that we were projecting to lead, just felt like it could have been snatched from us at any second."
 "I think I was hyper-focused on Hailey and her care."
 "I think this whole experience matured me. These are really fully matured, responsible adults and I'm sure to a lot of people that sounds like a bunch of nonsense, but it just changed me, and just made me realize that I can't go back to pretending I'm a kid anymore, that my life is now all about them, and providing, and setting an example and ensuring that they are prepared for the world."
 "But my wife and I took control of the situation. And we...  you know, we dictated the terms. We had the plan. We were the ones who got through it and figured it out and and made sure that all the decisions were going through us, and it it no longer felt like we still needed our parents in the room to help us."
 "Every time she had a fever, every time she cried that felt a little bit off kilter, we were on the phone with doctors."
 "I wouldn't take it back. I think I'm probably a better Dad. I think I'm probably a more present Dad. More appreciative."
 "But I also have this overwhelming sense of calm that just says, "You got this. Whatever this means, whatever they're throwing at you, you'll figure it out. You'll find the solution because it's what you have to do, and

Facing Miscarriage with Lorna Rose

Lorna Rose was three-months pregnant when a routine blood test revealed a genetic disorder in her unborn child which carried a high risk of miscarriage at any point in the pregnancy. The daily grieving led to finding her voice as a poet and writer.
EPISODE SUMMARY
 Part I
As an older mother, Lorna had a blood test three-months into her pregnancy to screen for any potential problems 
The test came back positive for a genetic disorder, Turner’s Syndrome
Lorna lives in a smaller town in the state of Washington, and the medically complex cases are sent to a larger hospital in Seattle
In the week between the initial diagnosis and the first appointment in Seattle, Lorna wrote a powerful poem, "http://www.literarymama.com/poetry/archives/2017/10/congratulations-2.html (Congratulations!)”
She describes that week turning to grief almost immediately and even thinking that it could be best to miscarry so that the child wouldn’t have "special needs"
Lorna and her husband went to Seattle for the appointment and had a deep ultrasound which did not show any markers of Turner’s Syndrome 
Lorna went back three other times for the ultrasound and they never saw markers for Turner’s - this gave Lorna confidence that it would be a mild case of Turner's
Anger, sadness, anxiety, you name it, Lorna felt those emotions all mashed together and intentionally sat with those feelings
Having her son, who was 2.5 years old at the time, was helpful knowing that he was healthy
Lorna would “hide her bump,” not even wanting people to know she was pregnant
Lorna shares the critical insight that she had to live in “both worlds,” one where she could dream about a full life with her child, and the other hardened in the reality that it might not work out
Miraculously, Lorna’s daughter was born healthy - the Turner’s Syndrome diagnosis was a false positive
 
Part II
After six-months of believing that her daughter could miscarry, she was born healthy with no signs of any genetic abnormalities
Lorna is speechless, so much “wow,” and relief, and crying in her family with joy in this moment
Lorna wanted to feel ok for having every emotion, including feeling guilty, or even wishing that she would miscarry, and she wrote a lot about the experience and life in general
Through her writing, Lorna felt connected to other women who had gone through the same experience
Lorna is thankful for the experience in the sense that it helped her find her writing 
Lorna sheds a tear thinking back to the “Golden Hour” first hour with her child and their special connection
Lorna can’t undo the experience but recognizes that through it, she gained empathy and a connection to women who have gone through similar experiences
Pregnancy is complex and doesn’t always end up like it does in the movies and Lorna is hopeful that her writings will help bring the conversation into the light
There’s a mold for pregnancy that it’s all a happy, shiny story but things can go wrong and women need to know it’s okay and ordinary
 
Part III
Lorna found her voice (poetry, writing) in the six darkest months of her life
Her daughter is almost five years old now, and loves hearing stories, especially the story of her being born
Lorna reflects on this weird, dark, strange time in her life and notes that it brought her and her husband closer because they went through it together
This piece of advice shows up time and time again in our stories: Don’t Google it
Lorna gives advice to her younger self
 
QUOTABLES 
"But the result that was most devastating for me was Turner's carried a high risk of miscarriage at any point in the pregnancy. We just we didn't know anything for a week. And that's when I started that poem."
 "I think I was in shock for a few days and then it turned to: how do I do this? Like, how do people get through this? I don't know, it was kind of like walking on eggshells, because I just... we didn't know...